hope you like the little pun.
As some of you know, i try and work on an issue over the course of a year. For example, a couple of years ago it was finances and trusting the Universe to provide. That has worked out well. This year, i was going to work on developing my spiritual love. This includes the love for oneself (a real big issue for little ole' me), but love for others spirits, angels, ascended masters, guides, fairies, etc. Just to really let the love that is contained in my spirit to flow externally. It was to be open to the universe and not have any expectations of return. My goal was to just let the love flow and if any came back, wonderful. But it was to separate the giving of love from the requirement for any in return. Sounded good. But i ran into a real conflict, and i can hear my soul sisters laughing now.
The conflict comes from the fact that we are spirit but also human. We are here for a human experience. Part of that experience is to be loved. We, as humans, need to feel the love coming back. We can't just keep giving love and not feel hurt, vulnerable, ashamed, guilty, unlovable (basically insert any other thought the ego comes up with) if we do not get love in return. And, what i discovered in me, is that there are two kinds of love.
One is the spiritual love that comes from deep within you spirit. Like the angels who love you no matter how many times i mess up and they have to repeat the lessons. It is always flowing and does not need return to keep the flame going. The other love is that which makes us human. For the human experience, i need to give love to other humans (with a touch, a kind word, a shoulder to cry on, a flower) love and in return, the human side of me needs to feel the love in return. This type of love needs to flow in both directions to grow and meet the human needs.
So, what was the problem. i was giving all my spiritual love and doing well. i was also giving all my human love and not getting anything in return. and when i was told that they other parties did not feel the way i did, that was ok, because my goal was to just give love. And, i got out of balance. There was way too much going out and so little coming back in these relationships. My spiritual love was burning strong, but my human side was in darkness. I needed to balance out the spiritual and human sides. It is like a tree that has one side is spirit and the other human. If the spirit is growing strong and tall, but the human is stunted and not growing, the spirit will overtake the human and the human side will get crushed even more and the tree will topple over. I need to balance the love from the spirit side with growth of love on the human side. Let the spirit side grow and leave space for the human side to grow as well. balance, balance balance. I came here for a human experience and one of the greatest joys is sharing human love. So as my spirit grows in love and strength, so too will my human side as i learn to love all as a human and to recieve love from others.
Life is not one without the other; life is both, water, nourished, grown to their fullest potential.
So, after two months and a week, my growth for this year has been modified - it is now to love and balance the spiritual love and human love and grow each in the garden of heaven.
richard
