Voice of the Angels Forum

As some of you know, i have had some visions of a past life. but it has been just kind of fragments with little to really put the picture together. Well, the picture is coming together.

The image i had was of a military person on a horse on ridge. He was very sad.

Well, the timing was just after the fall of the Roman Empire and the "barbarians" were attacking all over Europe. One such group was attacking the area where i lived and was in charge of. The attackers were laying waste to all the towns and fields and just being not very nice. Collecting my "army" (which was not really an organized army in the classic sense, but more a collection of young men brought together to fight the invaders). Well, the confrontation was destined to occur in a small village in a valley below the ridge. I knew it was going to happen in the village. I was sending most of these young men to their deaths and i knew the village would be all but destroyed. But, these invaders had to be stopped. So, after the invaders were defeated and we did lose most of the young men and many villagers were also killed. I rode to the hill alone with the guilt of having caused so many deaths. This was the price of being in charge. I was also injured in the knee and i knew i should get it "treated" but wanted the local people and the young men to get any help they could. i knew that i would, most likely, eventually die of my injury as infections, lead poisoning, etc. were the usual fate for injuries in this time. After all, i deserved to die after causing so much death in that village.

this experience left me with tremendous guilt and a need to be punished. I no longer wanted to be in charge -even though i can provide leadership, i did not want the burden of having to make the choice to cause death. So, as leadership type of opportunities arise, i tend to sabotage my chances to ensure that i am not required to be in charge of anyone but me. I also have a need to "help" everyone to make up for the destruction and death that occured that day. I take on others burdens as a punishment - to the point where i will sacrifice my survival and development so others can have theirs. This is also why i bear the guilt in the right knee - it's like a ball (lead ball??) was shot into the back of my knee.

And, by the way, lil sis was there too and was someone that knew what i was going through. But she was tending to the survivors in the village. I don't know if she knew i was hurt or not. It also explains why i feel like she has a way of knowing me. it's like the line from the song - "old friends mean much more to me than new friends do, they can see where you are and they know where you've been".

Now, through the lens of history, i can see that the fight was necessary and that many more people and villages would have died had we not stopped the invaders when we did. It was not a "major" battle or anything, but was critical to the survival of the people and villages in my little group. But with the pieces of the puzzle coming together, i can release the burdens i have carried since then and allow the love and light to fill my life.

richard

p.s. i know i have shared with some of you about the circumstances leading up to when i first broke my knee, but what i did not tell you is that there was a vision of my being a healer and leading people to the spirit. As Jonah, i was running away from that image.

	Author	Topic: discovering a past life (Read 2626 times)
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