MEETING YOUR TWIN FLAME IN YOUR DREAMS

[Dyan]

I find this concept of twin flames very interesting.

I get into "trouble" with my reader (well both the past and present friend readers)
whenever I say soulmate. I realize there are different kinds of soulmates. So, I'm talking
about the person you have deep sexual relations with.

For all of my life love has eluded me - and I'm trying to find out why.

There is something that I don't know if I'm comfortable sharing
on this forum or in a private pm.

I have so much to offer, and I don't
know why my romantic soulmate has not entered my life yet. A year has
not went by....and lately and I hate the personals, even if you are
careful (I'm not talking about serial killers)...I'm talking about just
guys who break hearts, I hate the concept of this guy didn't
write, okay cross him off, find another. I understand to not
be attached to the outcome, but boy this weekend was I
disappointed that this guy did not write me back. Especially when
I saw him (or someone that looked like him) in my dream, days before
I even saw his ad. I thought I wrote a nice letter. What did I do wrong?
Rhetorically speaking, of course, Dyan.

I can't apologize for living at home, I know it's not normal for someone
my age! I don't drive, only in America is a BIG deal made about this,
English musician Elvis Costello got his license at 47 and made a comment that
only in the US is it this huge issue. Yes, I'm a late bloomer in getting
any kind of degree, and I feel so old compared to the youngins at my
school. I'm the second oldest in my major, and a few months older
than my major teacher!

While I like my space and my alone time - I don't want to be
lonely. I want a man to share my life with and have a family. I always
wanted that.

Celtic Knot: All your life love has eluded you? You mean "romantic" "relationship" kind of love, right? The thing is that we have to come to the pary already whole. If you aren't whole, you're going attract those that aren't whole as well. Before the romantic soul mate can enter the life, one has to have done one's homework regarding self love. You have to know who you are. You have to love yourself. You have to radiate that love out and that is how you attract the soul mate. If it's like sending out signals, then your signal needs to be very clear. It can't come out of "need" or "want." When someone or something doesn't show up the way we expect, CK, the lesson for you is to not take it personally. If you ask, what did you do wrong? The answer is absolutely nothing. If we ask what is the leson about, it's about CK not needing outside validation. Why? Because if you want to attract your soul mate, you have to get into a space of not needing that validation. So all of what you're going through can be looked upon as "practice." When we can be alone and not feel lonely....ah! That is wonderful and indicates that we have learned some degree of loving the self.

[Celtic_Knot]

Dyan, yes, I'm talking about the romantic kind-of soulamates. I'd never
sleep with just anybody. My self-respect and dignity is important to me.
I just never thought I'd be waiting this long.

You are amazing! On my way home, I thought about this thread (I didn't
read your reply until just now) and thought it's like school. If you do your
homework, pay attention, and participate, you get a good grade. So, it's
interesting that you use an example marked homework.

If you aren't whole, you're going attract those that aren't whole as well.

This explains so much! The guys that do want me are men that I'm not
attracted to. I don't mean that in the superficial way.

and yes, I do like myself. I'm better than I used to be.
I don't think I'm the Bride of Frankenstein. *lol*
I know that I can do better.

[Anna]

Thank you so much Dyan, CK and Kelly!
Yes, CK ... once you are able to be happy being on your own, not really feeling a need for a romantic relationship .. this is when the right one will usually appear. Strange, but true. Let us not forget that many, many people marry simply out of fear ... fear of being alone, dying alone (I can never get that one, one usually dies first right?), fear of never having children etc. Or just because everyone else gets married. You can also be happy on your own, it does happen.

My twin flame "appeared" certainly at a time when I wasn't thinking about or even wanted a relationship, not for many years. I felt OK on my own and even now, if nothing eventuates from meeting him .. that is OK too. Twin flames are more about an attraction of spirit rather than the physical, although this can also happen. It is love at the soul level and a connection that can never be severed, even if you spend lifetimes apart. Pretty cool, huh? And we all have one ... they are you in another body ... your eternal spiritual partner, the other half of your soul, or should I say the other "whole" half of your soul .. wow. Although, it is quite rare for both to be here in the physical at the same time. I look at my twin flame and see myself .. the male version of me LOL!! xx 

[Dyan]

Hi CK. Yes, it's the law of attraction. We've come to believe the law of attraction has to do with money, but this law is a universal law that applies to magnetic resonance, and so yes, it would explain your issue.

[Dyan]

A few words about love: Love based on "need" is not love. It's co-dependence. And that is a pattern that falls into a category of self-abuse. To say "I love" and to have it be the highest vibration possible is to love from a place of unconditional love. And that means that you are able to demonstrate love, with word or deed, even in the face of someone being unloving to you. Why is unconditionaly love so hard to achieve? Because of the ego. Next time you believe you are loving unconditionally, examine where the ego still says "I want." Most people would definitely like to think they are capable or are loving unconditionally, but when you find you cannot forgive someone, when you find you are judging someone based on your own perceptions of "want,"  when you find you are loving based on need, know that you are not loving unconditionally. You are loving according to the way you "want" to love.

[Dyan]

A few words about love: Love based on "need" is not love. It's co-dependence. And that is a pattern that falls into a category of self-abuse. To say "I love" and to have it be the highest vibration possible is to love from a place of unconditional love. And that means that you are able to demonstrate love, with word or deed, even in the face of someone being unloving to you. Why is unconditionaly love so hard to achieve? Because of the ego. Next time you believe you are loving unconditionally, examine where the ego still says "I want." Most people would definitely like to think they are capable or are loving unconditionally, but when you find you cannot forgive someone, when you find you are judging someone based on your own perceptions of "want,"  when you find you are loving based on need, know that you are not loving unconditionally. You are loving according to the way you "want" to love.

More about Love. Why do we insist on hanging on to things such as "insult," "hurt," "anger," "unforgiveness?" Anything that is real Love cannot be insulted, hurt, or angered, or even unforgiven. So, when we're feeling these things, we are certainly NOT in a space of Love.  If we are not in the space of Love, we are definitely in the space of ego. We may THINK we are in the space of Love, based upon our own perceptions of ourselves and perhaps who we would like to be. But, my question really is why do we hang on? Do you remember the movie "Ghost?" Do you remember the Patrick Swayze character telling the Demi Moore character that the love you feel here is what you take with you? It's true. That's what we take with us and all else falls away and becomes completely non important. Things that seem to hurt us here only seem important here because it relates to things we're working on regarding Love. So, why are you hanging on to "insult and injury?"

[Dyan]

More on Unconditional Love. When you are able to continue through any situation of perceived pain, to say "I love" or  "I love you" and mean it, you have just experienced "being love." It's when you can't say such things, it's when you can't feel such things, that you remain locked in your perceived ego position and you remain in judgment and self justified actions of ego. And you may think you can create from that place, because the ego will fool you into that, but you can only create things from your ego in that space. They won't last. You cannot create anything real from Ego. Love is not a perception and something to be pulled out of your magic bag whenever it is convenient to do so. Love is what's real. Love is where the real power is. So if you cannot forgive, if you cannot see way beyond your perceptions, you are truly not Love, even though the ego will definitely tell you otherwise. If you are not able to love unconditionally and beyond ego, you limit yourself in every way.

[Anna]

Hello Dyan and CK,

Yes, how true, love is all there is and all that is real. I am starting to feel so much is not important .. our loved ones are what matters. If we were to know that we were dying, what would we miss the most? It wouldn't be our house, car, career, nice clothes .. or lack thereof LOL!

Yes, unconditional love is the only love that is real love ... perhaps this is why so many romantic relationships fail. I love the movie Ghost .. have watched it many times over. Dyan, were Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in the movie meant to be soul mates or twin flames? Their love was so beautiful.  Thank you Dyan!

Love, Anna. xx

[Celtic_Knot]

Wow! There's a lot here.

Anna, I could be happy on my own, if I were really on my own.
I don't have the money to move out, and everytime, I thought
I could move out (pseudo friends + attached to outcomes = nothing
happened) many times, even once on my own. But the last time,
led me to returning to school so that can't be a bad thing.

I don't want to be with a man out of fear. I'll admit, I had (maybe,
sometimes have...a little bit) of the "he saved me...I'm like Cinderella!"
fantasy. I want to be with someone because I love them and they love me.
It's strange that the word 'unconditional' be thrown into the mix, because
it took me a long time to realize that Mr. Right For Me will have flaws. I don't
mean the cute little buggy things like caps not on toothpastes (heck, I do
that one!) or leaving the toilet seat up. I mean the serious issues.
Maybe, he will have a strained relationship with his Dad, like I do mine,
and we'll bond that way.

Anna, the male version of you, I'm sure is awesome. And I
always wanted a male version of me, because I'm like, that
person would get it. That person would get me, as much as I would
get them.

Dyan, I can't lie. Yeah, due to my fathers irresponsibility with his
finances, I want man who is successful and ambitious. A guy who
takes that kind of thing seriously. I'm not talking about living in a mansion
and having millions. I just mean living nicely with no fear about paying
rent, dealing with gas prices, how many groceries can one buy for the
month? Are there kids? I don't want them to ever feel any kind of
hardship. And yes, I AM GOING TO BE IN A CAREER!
I only feel, if the finances are good, and there are infants, I do believe
that mothers should be home with their tiny ones. If possible.
I know it's not always possible. But, I do plan on making my own
money, same as I am doing now. Except doing something I love.
But I'm grateful, I was hired by my school temporarily. When I graduate,
the job is over. I think this is the longest someone has ever been kept,
so I do appreciate it.

Re: The father issue - It is VERY difficult for me to write 'Love' on
my father's birthday/Father's Day cards. And forget about hugging him,
I always want to pull away, and to say "I love you." That's very hard.
(although, and I don't know how this happened, I read that if something
comes out of your mouth that surprises you, that is the work of the Angels!
I called my father awesome a few weeks ago.)
I was called worthless today, over something petty.
My ego wants to know -  how can I take the high
road, when he always makes me feel (the word I want to use, I won't
type here) bad. I even recommended to him a few days ago to read the Bible
or see a Pastor to get rid of this negativity that hinders him, but he
brushed it off. He's the type that refuses to change.
I feel it's difficult to love him unconditionally, when he doesn't
give me that same courtesy. Parents are supposed to love
unconditionally. Sometimes, there are moments,
where we laugh and have fun, but 5 minutes later, I'm
yelled at again.

That is why, my romantic soulmate, whoever he is, will not
be a guy I settled for, but a guy that I love through the good
and bad times, and vice-versa. Maybe, he will "save me", but not in
that unrealistic fairy-tale way.

Yes, I've seen Ghost. I love that movie!
"Ditto."

[Anna]

Dear Celtic Knot,

I am so glad that when you find your romantic soul mate that he will not be someone you "settled" for. You are a wonderful person and you deserve someone equally wonderful to  love you. But let him come to you, don't search for him. Thank you CK, I think the male version of you must be awesome too, I hope he will be the one to come to you

I understand your feelings about your father .. yes, you would think that parents would love their children unconditionally ... maybe some just find it harder to express. My father walked out on our family when I was in my teens .. he had an affair and married her. He has never attempted to contact his children .. I would like to think that he does sometimes think of us .. I find it hard to still feel that connection with him. In many ways, it feels like he passed away a long time ago.

I love the movie Ghost also ... Ditto xx

[Dyan]

Hello Dyan and CK,

Yes, how true, love is all there is and all that is real. I am starting to feel so much is not important .. our loved ones are what matters. If we were to know that we were dying, what would we miss the most? It wouldn't be our house, car, career, nice clothes .. or lack thereof LOL!

Yes, unconditional love is the only love that is real love ... perhaps this is why so many romantic relationships fail. I love the movie Ghost .. have watched it many times over. Dyan, were Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in the movie meant to be soul mates or twin flames? Their love was so beautiful.  Thank you Dyan!

Love, Anna. xx

Anna: This is good work! Excellent, really! I've been thinking about your question. I believe they were soul mates rather than twin flames. There is so much confusion regarding twin flames and soul mates. Twin flame energy is really different. It's a teaching energy. It's a healing energy. It's meeting a direct aspect of yourself and working/teaching on healing that part of the soul that doesn't remember its wholeness and then taking that energy and making a "flame" out of it. It's not necessarily a flame of passion between two people. Sometimes twin flames never come together in that way. It's a flame of healing energy. Once the aspect is healed that energy can be used to heal in a more univeral manner. Soul mate energy is just different. Both are lessons in love, however. They just have different focuses.

[Anna]

Hi Dyan!

Wow, thank you Dyan, really??? .. that means so much to me coming from you. 
So they were soul mates .. awww, thank you Dyan, I appreciate that. There are a few movies of recent times that portray a twin flame or soul mate relationship. What Dreams May Come - TF .. I love that movie for many reasons, Just Like Heaven - TF, Serendipity .. not sure about that one, many synchronicities involved in their utimate getting together, Only You - Soul mates .. I think. I do believe in divine intervention and divine timing. How many really amazing "How did you meet?" stories do you hear these days? Perhaps it has something to do with too many people searching too hard and not being patient enough to wait. Most get tired of waiting or just become fearful and destiny takes a detour.

Love, Anna. xx

[Celtic_Knot]

Anna, I know it's not realistic, but don't most of us
women want something right out of the movies? A guy
bumping into you (literally) as you turn the corner on your
street? Life doesn't happen that way. I can't imagine how it will.
I just know that I refuse to settle-for and I want to unconditionally
love a man, as much as he will unconditionally love me.

Sorry to hear about your Dad.

Dyan, Ghost was a great movie. I'm glad I saw
it in the theater.

and Anna, What Dreams May Come!!!! I saw
that on an airplane on the way home from England. Another great
film.

Searching too hard is right!!! I really don't want to go to a bar
(I'm not a drinker...when I do, I get really loud and even more talkative!)
just for the purpose of meeting a guy. But everyone in your orbit,
expects you to do that, and if you don't, there's something "wrong"
with you in their eyes.

Destiny takes a Detour - that'd be a great title for a book, movie,
or for even a band name.

[angelofmydreams]

it's always best to start off slow because the energies can be so intense. Otherwise it can overwhelm with each twin running in different directions like Dyan said.

I see it like such ...twin*flames are like an egg; 1 person is the white part, the other is the yoke. The yoke in itself is complete and whole, yet it is a part of a greater whole because the yoke alone does not constitute as an egg and the white does not constitute as an egg. I AM whole and complete but the deep soul longing for my twin is always there. I think only those who are in the same boat fully understand this. xxx

[angelofmydreams]

Oh and I wrote another post about the t.f. in that section. xxx