Letter from “Life Purpose”
Hello Dyan:
For some time now, I’ve felt that I’m on a path to a life that I am truly excited about, yet, I constantly appear to get in my own way, and question myself at every step. At the moment, there seems to be little to get truly excited about, and its dull and boring to say the least. I seem to get so ‘caught up’ in getting it right, (your words of “let go” are ringing in my ears:)) that I begin to question my own judgment and base my choices on others thoughts or wants / needs. I know, in my heart & soul that this is not my life’s purpose, but I’m also unsure how to discover & move forward to finding out what that purpose is.
I also (for some reason) still allow my choices to be influenced by my
parents (whom I love to pieces by the way), and they somehow still have the uncanny ability to lay a mighty guilt trip on me (mostly unintentionally) that has me about-face in a choice I’ve made. I’ve discussed this at length with my parents over the years, each time feeling as though I’ve gained a little more ‘freedom’ and sense of self, but it still works a treat. Having said that, I recognise that I am still working through the sense of being responsible for their feelings and happiness, but at the same time, know that they are the only ones responsible for how they feel etc. Where does one start, to release this, and to also find out what our life’s purpose is? When the ‘discovery or realisation’ of life’s purpose is made, is it the end of life here?
Many thanks
D.
Dear D:
There is a lot here and I’m going to take it one by one even though it is all related. When we find that we are in our own way, it speaks to patterns. And those patterns are something someone taught to you. Examine the patterns of those that taught you your own patterns and then try to see the reflection of how those people get in their own way. I believe when you really study the underlying patterns here you will discover some type of fear. And nothing can get co-created from fear. We create and co-create from a position of love. Once you firmly have truly examined these things at their core, from there, you have forward moving energy to change the pattern. You either accept it as your own or you don’t.
When we find ourselves viewing our life as dull and boring, we must rediscover our passions. Decide what you are passionate about and what you are not. Then simply do not engage in things that do not bring you joy. Make a commitment to doing things that bring you joy, rather than engaging in activities that may “please” others. This speaks to the need for outside validation. You can validate your own parking ticket and don’t need anyone else to do it for you.
We are taught in childhood to engage in approval seeking behaviour. But as we grow and mature, no one teaches us to not engage in that. It’s not that one should be self-absorbed, but it’s about being willing to put your oxygen mask on first and then assisting others. There is a very good reason for that instruction. You cannot be of any kind of help or service to others if you can’t breathe.
When seeking to align with one’s life purpose, one really has to go back to who they were/are before someone else told you who you are. Examine what you came in here loving to do. Examine where and when you stopped doing and being that. This is the beginning of aligning with your life’s purpose and it is key that you are WILLING to do that purpose. Being willing is a first step toward alignment.
Truly, no one can really lay a guilt trip on you unless you allow it, and again that is all about what you’re willing to do and what you’re not willing to do. It doesn’t mean that you don’t feel things or that you don’t care. It just means that you are willing to detach from patterns that no longer are helpful and are basically co-dependent.
Get these phrases in your vocabulary: “I am willing” and “I am unwilling.” No one told you that it’s perfectly OK to make a boundary? Our choices are our choices and we should have no regrets about them whatsoever. It seems as if you need to rediscover yourself and accept your choices as your choices even if no one else understands them. You do and that is all that matters. Again, that speaks to self-validation.
The thing to let go of is the pattern of seeking approval. You don’t need that anymore and it isn’t serving you in any constructive way. That said, parents always want what they perceive is best for their children. But parents have to learn to let go too and respect their offspring’s journey, no matter what it shows up as. Just know that it is certainly well intentioned.
One starts always at the beginning. One must always examine the root of a thing. One must also try to see the bigger picture. Groups of people come in here together to teach each other lessons in love. We’re living in an illusion. If you understand that you’ve chosen to be with these people so that you all may learn lessons in love, and improve the soul group dynamic, it begins to give you a bigger picture. But, while you’re stuck going around and around in your patterns you really can’t move forward. None of you can, so you remain doing things that are comfortable and familiar, even in their discomfort to all. So, the first thing to do is to examine the base patterns and figure out everything about them. Figure out the reflection. Then choose. And when one discovers their purpose it is truly the beginning of life here, not the end.
Many angel blessings,
Dyan
