Letter from Anna
“Dear Dyan,
Since I was 8, I live with my stepmother. Now, I am 27.In the beginning when I moved in that house, we couldt even come near to each other, as we really didn’t like each other. With the years we learned to love each other, and our relationship is very good now, except My step mother is extremely controlling and she doesn’t believe in me. What ever myd reams are, she would always say, that I cant do that.She likes me to just stay home, be with her, talk to her, but she is much too controling to allow me to have my own life.She needs me, and she is holding to me, restricting my freedom completely.I never ever thought of leaving her alone, I will stay her friend whatever, but I want to have the freedom and my own life, not to live her life…
My father has died 5 years ago.
Can you please advice me the best course of action in this situation?
Thank you so much,
Yours, Anna.”
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Dear Anna: I am so sorry to hear of the death of your father. Please accept my condolences.
The place to start with this is to ask yourself why you are willing to be restricted. When you find yourself unwilling to be so, this is when the energy will shift. You have free will and you are an adult. No one can make you do anything. You have choices, even if you find those choices uncomfortable at first. You must start believing in yourself and your dreams. Then you must figure out how to accomplish those dreams irrespective of what anyone else says or does. You must validate yourself. Your stepmother may be controlling, but try to understand that you are allowing her to control you. And then ask yourself why. Ask yourself what you are really afraid of. I think you will find out that you are afraid of “failing.” Anna, if there is such a thing as failure it is in the not trying. It is easy to dream, but it takes action to make a dream come true. Begin the process of taking responsibility for your life by starting slowly. Have one night a week for going out with your friends and very firmly state that on Friday you are going out. Then do so, even if your stepmother has a tantrum and tries to make you feel guilty. Eventually, she will have to accept it. Anna, you have the gift of life and you are free to go live it. When you stop perceiving yourself as a prisoner, you will cease to be one.
