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Letter from Kelly

  

Dyan, I feel like I understand about the Law of Attraction, and that being positive has always helped me avoid the negative. My problem at the moment is that I cannot get away from the negative. I try to put my husband’s recent job lay-off out of my mind, think about positive things, that he’ll get a job tomorrow, that kind of thing, but all I keep thinking about is the past, how he took forever to get a job before, he never wants to work, he always wants to be in charge so he turns people off, etc. I know this isn’t good, and likely he’s thinking negative things as well, because – well that’s just the way he is, so I’m figuring we have a double whammy here and I can’t get him to understand that being positive helps your attitude if nothing else.

  

So, my question here is, how does one put the negative behind and look at the positive and invision that when so many negative things keep creeping in. I can meditate and I do and am very capable of envisioning things, but for some reason, I can’t make these negatives go away this time.

  

Any suggestions? I’m quite frustrated with this situation to be sure.

Kelly

  

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Being positive absolutely does have an effect because form follows thought. Absolutely. The thing is, we do not “create” anything in our life using just the power of positive thinking. This is only one part of the process. For manifesting, we need to unblock and use the energy of the particular chakra that the thing we’re trying to manifest resides in. For example, the energy of money resides in the root chakra, so that is the chakra we need to unblock and then connect up with the energy of all the other chakras. Do you see? We cannot create a child, for example, with just the power of our minds.

  

To answer your question about putting the negative behind and envisioning the positive – Try to understand that what’s in your way is so much more than just thinking or envisioning the positive. To have anything shift and change here, you really have to get to the ROOT of the core issues. In other words, the energy blockages are not coming from the mind, but rather from the very root. This is why the flow of money is blocked.

  

Now, you must know that you cannot change the husband. We cannot change anyone else. But for yourself, you should probably start with learning more about what is blocking your own ability to create. Remember, we create from the root, not from the mind. So examine your belief systems regarding the ability to create a flow of money. Do you have preconceived ideas about how that ought to show up?

  

Also helpful, perhaps, would be to examine your ideas of what is negative and what is positive. Sometimes “negatives” are positives in disguise. Get to the root of everything. That’s where the real issues are and that’s what’s in your way right now.

  

Dyan


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Letter from J.H

Dear Dyan:

I’m 23 years old and live with my mother. My parents are divorced. My mom is moving to another state soon and I don’t think she wants me to go with her and I don’t think I want to go with her anyway. My dream is to be a singer, but my mom doesn’t seem very supportive of this and neither does my dad. I’m taking voice lessons and piano lessons and I’m paying for those myself. I feel anxious and nervous all the time. I feel very alone. I buy my mom cigarettes and pop and do anything she asks. Why can’t she support me in my dream?

J. H.

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Dear J:

First of all, know that we are never alone even if it feels that way. We are always surrounded by love even if we can’t see it. Parents just want the best for their children. What appears to be non-support from your parents is really just concern. They don’t want to see your dreams get crushed. However, from a spiritual point of view, this is fear based and nothing gets created from fear. The real power is in the love. So follow your heart and follow your dreams and be willing to see where that takes you. There is nothing to be afraid of. There are no limitations unless we believe that there are. The other thing you need to know as you go on your journey is that self-validation does not come from the outside. It comes from inside you. Once you have given yourself that gift, you can shine that out in the form of some very special music. The universe is waiting to hear from you, J. And so am I. Go for it!


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Letter from Oksana

“Dear Dyan,
I am 35 years old, and have a son of 16. My husband has died very suddenly 2 months ago. My son, was very attached to my husband, and much more connected with him, then with me. It is difficult for both of us now, but I accept it as it is. My son has closed up completely, and I do not know, how to communicate with him anymore. He would talk to me about his feelings, and he refuses to do anything. He refuses to go to school, refuses to help in the house, just playing computer games whole day…..Could you please advise me, on how to deal with this, and how can I help my son?

My other problem is my mom…
Since my husband has died, she took a role of my protector into her hands,without me asking her to do so, and she is poking her nose into everything and all what I do. And I do not know how to cope with that either….

Thank you very much for your advises.

Regards, Oksana.”
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Dear Oksana:

I am so sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your husband. The unexpectedness of such an event can be very disorienting for those left behind. Grieving is a process and you will need time to heal, so be kind to yourself and allow yourself that time. Your son and you must now use this event to come together and you must reach out to him emotionally, even in your own pain and even if he repeatedly shuts you out. Keep reaching out for him. He needs you to set an example. He needs you to be in charge. You say that he refuses to do anything, but Oksana, you are the parent. You must be willing to step fully into that role. You must set boundaries and rules. He needs that structure right now. To help him you must do this, and not let him wallow aimlessly in his grief. He is using computer games as an escape, when truly you must both face and deal with your grief. Try to understand that you are allowing him to do this and when you stop allowing him to do this you will both be able to move forward. You must clearly communicate to him that there are consequences to not going to school, and consequences for not helping around then house. These are not punishment, but rather, consequences. Make these consequences clear to him. Also, it would be helpful to plan an activity to do together that gets you both out of the house. In the short term, what you need to try to accomplish is a breaking of the pattern that your son has slid into here. And try to help him face his emotions rather than push them away. For example, do you have any photographs of your son and his father together? Get them out and if he’s good with the computer, perhaps he can scan them in and make a slideshow or movie from them. This is easy, creative, and forward moving energy. As for your mother poking her nose into all that you do, please try to see the reflection there. She is as concerned about you as you are about your son. Your son may feel that you are poking your nose into all that he is doing as well. It’s a reflection. I suspect she will stop doing that when she feels you are safely and firmly on your path. Show her that you are.


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Letter from Anna

“Dear Dyan,
Since I was 8, I live with my stepmother. Now, I am 27.In the beginning when I moved in that house, we couldt even come near to each other, as we really didn’t like each other. With the years we learned to love each other, and our relationship is very good now, except My step mother is extremely controlling and she doesn’t believe in me. What ever myd reams are, she would always say, that I cant do that.She likes me to just stay home, be with her, talk to her, but she is much too controling to allow me to have my own life.She needs me, and she is holding to me, restricting my freedom completely.I never ever thought of leaving her alone, I will stay her friend whatever, but I want to have the freedom and my own life, not to live her life…

My father has died 5 years ago.
Can you please advice me the best course of action in this situation?

Thank you so much,
Yours, Anna.”

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Dear Anna: I am so sorry to hear of the death of your father. Please accept my condolences.

The place to start with this is to ask yourself why you are willing to be restricted. When you find yourself unwilling to be so, this is when the energy will shift. You have free will and you are an adult. No one can make you do anything. You have choices, even if you find those choices uncomfortable at first. You must start believing in yourself and your dreams. Then you must figure out how to accomplish those dreams irrespective of what anyone else says or does. You must validate yourself. Your stepmother may be controlling, but try to understand that you are allowing her to control you. And then ask yourself why. Ask yourself what you are really afraid of. I think you will find out that you are afraid of “failing.” Anna, if there is such a thing as failure it is in the not trying. It is easy to dream, but it takes action to make a dream come true. Begin the process of taking responsibility for your life by starting slowly. Have one night a week for going out with your friends and very firmly state that on Friday you are going out. Then do so, even if your stepmother has a tantrum and tries to make you feel guilty. Eventually, she will have to accept it. Anna, you have the gift of life and you are free to go live it. When you stop perceiving yourself as a prisoner, you will cease to be one.


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